From Beginning to End

Life is good. All the things that I have been stressing about for the past 2 years (yes that's right, TWO YEARS) doesn't seem to stress me out anymore. And that's not to say they have been resolved, I just don't care like I did before. Its incredible, I feel light and happy - not euphoric or ridiculous - I am just so unbelievably content. Very unlike me.

Somewhere in these deep and meaningful thoughts of mine I managed to equate my current happy existence to how I feel about listening to an amazing tune. Something about an amazing tune that makes you put it on continuous repeat and drive everyone else mad.

Unless you have an Ultimate Album.

An Ultimate Album by which every single track on the album is amazing, (or maybe there is only one not so amazing but still good, song).

Ultimate albums aren't frequent or common, you'd be lucky to find one on an annual basis, but when you do it will always be an Ultimate Album.

So in no particular order, my Ultimate Albums

• Alanis Morisette "Jagged Little Pill" - I can still see myself and my friends dancing around the dorm and singing Ironic at the top of our lungs
• Oasis " Whats the Story Morning Glory" - My introduction to the world of Britpop
• Paolo Nutini "These Streets" - Saw me threw two break ups and a make up and despite some of the ugly memories I still love it
• Florence and the Machine "Lungs" - Words fail me to describe the power of this woman's voice and its effect on me
• Lighting Seeds " Jollification" - Stole this album from my Dad
• Lionel Richie "Back to Front" - Slightly cheating as this is a greatest hits, but really they are all so good. Not a dud one there.
• Norah Jones "Come away with me" - Not normally a fan of background or elevator music but Norah passes the test in this case
• Reginald Dwight, AKA Elton John. Forget albums, every single song.

 So that's it, I think if I have to think any harder then they cant be an Ultimate Album of mine.

But how does this time into my present state of mind, I'm not quite sure, I'm just hoping that now that I have found my happiness it will be like an Ultimate Album. I can listen to it from beginning to end. And then start all over again without anything getting in the way.

Are you there God? Its me Margaret.....

Chapel was a three times a week occurrence with a Sunday extravaganza (Sung Eucharist) every other week at school. 7 years. 21 terms. And an awful lot of Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and bi-Sundays in between.

To be fair I quite liked the calm 30 minutes before the day started, a quick peek to see your other friends from other houses, waving to them across the pews, "Ooooh Charlie has a new haircut", the whispering and giggling, being told off by the prefects for whispering and giggling, and lip syncing to the hymns cos it was not cool if you actually sung out loud. (Top Tip: If you mouth "rhubarb and custard" to any song it looks like you know the words!)

I wont pretend that I can remember much of the biblical aspects of Chapel, the readings and so forth - I think I have done better since I have been going to weddings, (1 Corinthians, Chapter 13 I practically know by heart! http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%2013;&version=NIV) - but the fables, the allegories, Winnie the Pooh excerpts - these have definitely stood the memory test.

I was in bed last night and like most people before one goes to sleep you analyse the day, what went on, promise to make improvements for tomorrow, but overall realise that you are indeed happy and thankful for the life you have. What made me laugh is that a part of this ritual I start with the opening line from a book that was often read to us " Are you there God? Its me Margaret...."

To plagiarise a little, Wikipedia describes the books as follows:

Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. is a 1970 book by Judy Blume, typically categorized as a young adult novel, about a girl in sixth grade who grew up with no religion. Margaret's mother is Christian and her father is Jewish, and the novel explores her quest for a single religion. Margaret also confronts many other pre-teen female issues, such as buying her first bra, having her first period, coping with belted sanitary napkins (changed to adhesive sanitary pads for recent editions of the book), jealousy towards another girl who has developed a womanly figure earlier than other girls, liking boys, and whether to voice her opinion if it differs from those of her friends.


Blah blah blah. OK, maybe it didn't stick in my mind as much as I thought - i obviously totally missed this quest for Margaret in finding a single religion - I am guessing this was actually the point at school - what I do remember however was the language and style used when Margaret was talking to God. It was kind of like popping into your Grandads for a cup of tea, sitting on his knee, discussing what seem to you very real and very important 10 year old issues. Him listening and giving you the answer or at least making you think about the answer in a way that never occurred to you before. Amazing.

Twenty years later I am still doing exactly that. Not every night, not every week, but when I need to "pop in and have a chat" and generally get it off my chest all I have to do is ask...."Are you there God? Its me, not-Margaret"...I don't often get a reply but I know someone, something out there in the Universe is listening.