So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye....

They say sorry is the hardest word - or  at least Elton seems to think so - but so is goodbye.

Goodbye hurts. Goodbye is forever. Goodbye is final. Whats so good about goodbye?

Ive spent the past few months saying goodbye to people I love and its not getting any easier. In fact its getting harder. One leaves and you can cope, you miss them but its ok...but then another and another. And before you know it you are going through you mobile phone book and most of the numbers start with 00...the global code.

Australia, Singapore, Switzerland, New Zealand, Jamaica to name but a few. You promise to keep in touch, and you mean it, but inevitably life gets in the way - different time zones, telephone bills and everything else - the emails no matter how long how detailed cant convey your day to day runnings and thats whats so scary - the prospect of saying goodbye to something you shared and that you cant do anything about no matter how good your intentions are.

Sometimes goodbyes sneak up on you, you know its coming, 6 months, 6 weeks, 6 days later but then its real, its happening and its time to say goodbye. Sometimes goodbyes are sudden, you hadnt even entertained the prospect and here you are saying it just like that, bam.

Some goodbyes have hope - "I'll see you soon". Some goodbyes are good riddance. And some goodbyes have no hope, no riddance. In fact they sit heavy on your heart even if you actually want to say goodbye to that feeling you cant.

Regardless of which goodbye it is none of them are easy. Each time they take a little piece of you....at least until the next time when you say hello. If there is a next time.

Life in Disney

Looking back on it my parents brought me up on an unhealthy amount of Disney.

The first cartoon I can remember watching was Bongo the Bear. Its a silent one and not very well but the story goes something like this...

Circus Bear destined for life as a caged show animal, manages to escape life in the circus accompanied by good friend Jiminy Cricket. Circus bear meets and falls in love with Girl Bear, however Grizzly Bear comes along and decides that Girl Bear belongs to him. Circus Bear walks off with tail between legs and heartbroken. However in a moment of realisation Circus Bear realises that Girl Bear wants to be with him not Grizzly Bear and beats him in a David and Goliath fashion. Circus Bear and Girl Bear sail off into the sunset and live happily ever after.

Sound familiar?

I cried in Dumbo, Bambi, The Lion King, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, Sleeping Beauty and Lady and the Tramp. All of the classic love stories. In fact the only Disney I didn't like was Fantasia - too many flying broomsticks and not enough romance. This has led me to believe that love is in fact like a Disney movie - there is always a happy ending, even if all seems lost, its not.

So imagine my delight today when I heard a real life Disney "Happy ever after" in full swing. A girlfriend of mine after two years after breaking up from her ex got an email today that one could only wish was written to them. It was the perfect email, the blow you away type of email. One that reflected on the past and looked to the future. It was full of regret, hope, sadness, joy, despair, loss, happiness and most of all love. It signals new beginnings but based on the same two people that met across a crowded bus those years ago. All in all the total makings of a Disney film with its perfect happy ending.

Don't get me wrong, am I envious? Yes. Where's my happy-ending-ever-after. But this showed me that they do exist. Miracles do happen, that love isn't just practical its magical. So whilst I wait for my Aladdin to get off his carpet and come find me, I wish them all the luck in the world. What about love you say? Well its clear they already have that covered.

9/11 Out of the Blue - II

My words are not needed here.

Walk - Dont Walk - Walk - Dont Walk - Part 1

Coming up to the 10 year anniverary this poem has always brought chills to my soul.


9/11 - Out of the Blue by Simon Armitage