My so called single life

With only a few days before the elections divisions are being drawn. Labour, conservative and the liberal democrats. The left the right and the kind of middle. But that's ok, that's politics, that's how its supposed to happen.

So why do i feel that in my current single situation lines are also being made. Its beginning to feel like a battle between the haves and the have nots. The haves as in have a "Boyfriend or Husband" (BoH/ pronounced Beaus) and the have nots, ie the singletons, ie me.

As more and more of my friends are getting married, or increasingly serious in their relationships the number of single people are fewer and fewer. Now don't get me wrong, I don't resent the haves and their beaus, I am quite positively happy for them as I know that mine will come along too, what I am bothered about is the obvious separation between the two.

Since when did dinner parties become couples only? Weekends away? invites for drinks? Ok yes, admittedly I cant really join in on conversations revolving around the colour of the curtains, mortgages, or how i am jealous of Beaus PA but that doesn't mean I should be excluded - I could still try and give my opinion, it just might not be very informed as I'm not there yet!

Some friends when they meet their other half you don't see ever, or only when Beau is attached to their lips, some friends you don't see Beau for at least a year that you begin to doubt if he actually really does exist, and some friends keep a happy balance between the two. If I'm honest I know I probably spent too much time with my exes friends and integrating in his circle that we didn't do enough in mine. But we still had dinner parties with single people, in fact we were quite pro at hoping to match make our single friends from each side, we still went out with single friends, we even went on holiday with a whole load of single people because fundamentally single or not - these people were my friends.

And that is what bothers me about this situation. Am I a better person if I am with someone else - no? Does it make me more interesting? More sociable? I hope not. Sure they add to you ( providing hes not a boring know it all loud mouth) but he shouldn't dominate your rankings on the social calendar.

My single friends, I promise you when I meet my Beau I will remember this and remember you. You will still be invited to my dinner parties and drinks. We will still go out - without any lip attachments , I may moan to you about my mortgage or the quality of Beaus DIY skills yet I wont presume you wont know anything about it and i wont go on about it either. I will probably more interested in your stories and adventures of the single life anyway!

As for the haves out there - don't forget your single friend, you might be at different stages in life but you have shared a history that runs deeper than wallpaper colours. And who knows, you might even have another single friend who might like your single friend and get together, and then if you persist on having couples dinner parties they too can be on the guest list.

Forget party politics, social ones aren't that easy either! Rant over for a Wednesday, I am going to go out with my single friend and enjoy what time we have being young free and single in 2010.

Waiting for something to happen

I haven't forgotten. In fact its been weighing heavily on my mind, when I started this blog i was determined to keep it going , writing regularly about things I was doing and experiencing. And that’s just it, I've been waiting for something to happen so that I can write about it but nothing has happened.

Instead the last few weeks and months I have been trying to think of something that was remotely interesting to write about but still nothing....my mind has been blank. No enlightening moments, no thunderbolt meetings, no inspirational eureka moments.

And there it was. Here was my subject.

In the first couple of months as a newly single person my days, nights and weekends were fun filled and packed. I've been on 2 holidays, booked one major holiday, moved out, been back at the gym, given, up smoking and attempted to eat healthier.

This was my effort, everybody telling you to get out there, keep busy, and get on with it, put in the hard graft they said and before you know it you'll be onto bigger and better things. But despite all these promises and doing exactly what had been recommended the awaited prize was yet to materialise.

My awaited prize was yet to materialise errrrr.....wtf? But that is exactly what I had been thinking. For the past couple of weeks I have been waiting for some sort of miracle, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and actually believed that I was owed it!

Reality check - I am not owed anything. What I get out is equal to exactly what I put in, it’s a simple equation. Effort is required 100% of the time and nothing less. This isn’t "The Secret" or even a secret, it’s just life. You can’t just believe something will happen; you have to make it happen - we are our own vehicles for change.

You want to quit smoking - just stop smoking. You want to lose weight - eat less. Earn more money - get a new job, study more. The list is endless but at the end of the day it is all down to one person. You. Or in this case me. And results are not instantaneous, there is no such thing as instant gratification. Modern society perpetuates a quick fix attitude.

In fact, I’m not going to beat myself up about this - I have been putting in the effort, I am doing so every day,  it is becoming second nature. Big changes have been made, and big changes are on the brink of happening - so what if nothing extraordinary has happened, life is full of ups and downs yes, but its also full of just normal regular days.

And normal days are good too, without normal days you don’t really understand the highs and lows. So I’m not going to panic anymore about "nothing happening" - things happen as long as I make them happen and as long as I continue to try then who knows what's around the corner. But what I am really trying to say ( in a very long winded way) is don’t just expect things to happen and if they don’t, it’s ok, normal days are just as important, and they are most definitely worth writing about.