Dog in a suitcase

So there I was on the train into Waterloo today minding my own business, in my own world and having a bit of a think...the week had been slightly topsy turvey but nothing I couldnt handle. I was listening to my new album of the 2010, Florence and the Machine (amazing, go buy!) and these two women step onto the train.

One was like an Asian Jordan, a bit older, but dressed a bit younger, and her friend was pretty similar. It was only 12:30pm and they were already talking about vodka and Primani - the kind of girls you could definitely have fun night out with, attracted attention wherever they went. Anyway the train was pretty full and despite having volume at slightly borderline antisocial levels I could hear their conversation pretty well.

It went something like this...

Jordan Wannabe (JW): So have I told you about the dog?

Jordan Wannabe Friend (JWF) : Errrr no? What dog?

JW: So my friend was looking after so and sos dog while they were away in America on holiday, anyway I got this phone call from her

" The dog has died on me,  i dont know what to do"

JW advised her to call the vet....so she calls the vet

"I think my friends dog has died,  I am supposed to be looking after it, what do I do?"

Vet advises her to take (dead) dog into vet just to make sure

" But I dont have a car" she says. JW wisely advises her to put dog in suitcase and take the tube

 So Dog Girl puts dog into suitcase and takes her onto tube to vet. As most of you Londoners know the tube is not very accessible for wheelchairs let alone suitcases particularly when using the escalators and stairs. Luckily for DG a kind man offers to take suitcase for her.

"What you got in this bag then, a dead body? Its bloody heavy..."

At which dog girl replies cos she cant think of anything else

" Errrrr no, laptops"

At which point kind man promptly does a runner, with suitcase with dead dog.

Amazing.

Imagine being the friend coming back from America and explaining that the dog they left in your care a) died and b) got stolen on th way to the vet ( already dead)

and lastly, imagine being the guy who opened the suitcase expecting lap tops and all he got was a dog (dead) in a suitcase.

Had a smile on my face the rest of the day. Love it.

The Y word

They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, whilst I am not the biggest advocate of this statement I get the principles behind it...there is nothing wrong with a bit of attention, an ego stroke and someone to exchange flirty emails and texts with.

Before I begin, let it be noted that not all of this has happened since the new year but seeing as it is a new year I thought I might as well talk about one of my resolutions - always say "yes"

1) Mr Best Friend ( male) - The first in my mission to say yes. We've been best friends for years, we've had our ups and downs, gone months without seeing each other but shamelessly flirting has always been a part of it. Thankfully we are still best friends, it stopped at the kissing stage, and it wasnt awkward at all. In fact it was lovely. But just friends, just as it should be and never ever EVER to happen again.

2) Mr Perfect (ish) - in so many ways. If he had a dating CV he would tick all the boxes - cute, charming, sincere, generous, emotional, sensible and understanding. But I just didnt fancy him. I tried the "lets just be friends" trick - dont think it went down too well.

3) Mr Darcy meets Daniel Cleaver -Physically attractive, massively fun, great banter and probably the most intelligent guy I have ever met. Luckily for both of us we are emotionally uninvolved and he is totally unsuitable. Fine for now.

4) Mr New Years Eve - well, I cant remember much but you cant have New Years Eve without a New Years kiss, can you? A friend of a friend, met him half a dozen times before and there is absolutely nothing     " there" - but then again with the lubricant of alcohol you can certainly think there is, plus he is goddam gorgeous and quite amusing..so no complaints there...

And there we have it folks...all encounters have been above board, but certainly New Years resolution in action.

Dont say no, say yes, at least to giving things a go.

Bring on 2010!